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Pokemon Pikachu's Dirty Little Secret

By: Anonymous

 

10. Called the Smurfs in for a "business meetin'" when they were contemplatin' a comeback. He also brought a few Italian goons t'the meetin' an'... well... let's just say that stain on his tail ain't barbecue sauce.

9. Actually thinks Ash is his mom, an' keeps havin' Oedipal dreams.

8. He's a MOUSE. C'mon, filth, disease, Bubonic Plague anyone?

7. Secret sponsors include "Society of People Who Want to Say 'Gesundheit' When Someone Else Mentions A Cultural Phenomenon So That They (The People Who Say 'Gesundheit') Can Think They're Hilarious." I'm a card-carryin' member.

6. Has Frosty the Snowman's eyes. Literally.

5. That Vegas strip club.

4. In obscure Koreo-Japanese dialect, "Pikachu" actually means "Barney".

3. Y'know Don King? Guested on South Park an' The Simpsons, managed Mike Tyson an' other popular rapists, an' pays people t'throw fights? He manages Pikachu, an' Team Rocket's on his payroll.

2. Pikachu keeps swipin' Queen Amidala's makeup.

1. Bagged Jessie.

 

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