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You Know You've Been In Korea Too Long
- You are immune to the smell of "the kimchi breath."
- You no longer come to a complete stop at the stop sign and you never yield
- You can pick up a single strand of noodles with chopsticks.
- You ask for more "ko-chu" because the kimchi-chige soup is not
- You enjoy slurping your noodles as loudly as you can.
- Your back is sore from bowing.
- You walk down the street holding hands with your buddy.
- You ask your wife to stand outside with a baseball bat to protect your
public parking space in front of the house.
- You can eat barefooted in a restaurant with a foot in your lap.
- You can cut in at the front of the line of waiting people with the best of
- You look forward to winter in your off post housing so you can store beer
and frozen foods in your bedroom or bathroom.
- You can fall asleep on the city bus and wake up at your stop.
- You can shovel in an entire bowl of rice and half a course of Bulkogi into
your mouth before you swallow.
- You rather watch local TV than AFKN.
- You can make a left turn looking only to the right.
- You can convert any US unit measurements into metric measurements in your
- You look forward to Chusok and the Lunar New Year each year.
- You think that Korea's greatest natural resource is good looking young
- You only lock your door if there are lots of "Mi-gooks" around.
- People ask if you want to go by car and you respond, "No, I'm in a
- Someone says, "Bed," and you think "Yol."
- You realize that it is safer to "J" walk than use a pedestrian
- You wear white socks with a dark suit.
- You can use a public bathroom for both genders and think nothing of it.
- You know every interchange on the Seoul-Pusan Expressway by heart.
- You know all the words to the Korean National Anthem and you enjoy singing
- You don't need a restroom to relieve yourself.
- You crawl back into your house to get your coat, rather than take your
shoes back off and walk on the floor with shoes on.
- You bow at inanimate objects.
- You walk around humming the tune the crosswalk signal lights play.
- You enjoy shopping at a local open market place more than Main PX or
- Someone says breakfast, you think of "fish, soup and seaweed."
- You'd rather sit on the floor than in a chair.
- You start believing that you can blend into a large crowd of Koreans.
- All your shoes are bent flat in the back.
- You let your eyes be drawn towards any female whose hair isn't black.
- You answer the phone by saying "yoboseyo," and sometimes even at
- Someone says "mansion" and you think of a two bedroom flat in a
400-unit apartment building.
- You mutter "Aigu" when lifting a heavy objects.
- You suck in air through your teeth before saying "no" to
- You start growling and spitting inside your mouth to add emphasis to what
you are about to say.
- You can convert Hangul into English without repeating it to yourself
- You always wave your left hand to signal you are going to cut in front of
another driver without looking first.
- You select shoes based on how easily you can get them on and off.
- You answer "Nhe" even when speaking English to non-Korean
- You carry chopsticks in your back pocket.
- You enjoy putting lots of red pepper sauce on your salads or French-fries.
- You don't freak out when the salad arrives with octopus legs still
wiggling on top of it.
- You are not embarrassed when old ladies are standing in a bus while you
are sitting down.
- You like OB or Crown better than Bud or Miller.